Home » Uncategorized » Love the one you’re with.

Love the one you’re with.

It’s a simple task: Love the one you’re with.

Why can’t I do that anymore?

Husband and I used to be the very best of friends. Two peas in a pod. Inseparable.

Now, more and more, I find myself drifting so far from him. We were doing okay for a while – he was going to AA meetings on a nearly daily basis, and he’d stopped drinking almost completely.

Then he decided he didn’t have to go to AA anymore once he was finished with his AA treatment through probation. Go figure.

And here I was, thinking he was trying to change.

I used to think he was my soul mate, my one true love. The one whom I was meant to be with.

I don’t think that’s true anymore.

You see, I am not as happy as I normally am, and I directly link that to my husband’s constant foul mood and screaming. He constantly screams at and belittles my two boys. When I stand up for them, he throws a tantrum – throws his food across the room, throws the remote clear across the house and shatters not only the remote, but my kitchen cabinet doors.

I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t.

Love the one you’re with… but what if you can’t anymore?

What if they have changed, dramatically, for the worse?

I know I said I’d love him for better or for worse, but Jesus Christ, c’mon. This is out of hand.

I went through this abuse before. For years. It started out the same way: belittling me and the kids, then it progressed to constant 24-7 screaming, and all the while there was the scare-factor. The fact I knew he could beat the living shit out of me at any minute and I wouldn’t be able to fight back.

I don’t want to live like that. That’s why I got rid of that psychotic maniac in the first place.

Now I feel like I’m stuck with another.

I’d leave in a heartbeat, I am at that point.

But what do I tell the boys? They look up to him as their own father.

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4 thoughts on “Love the one you’re with.

    • I know. It was getting a lot better, like insanely better. And then it suddenly got a million times worse. What really aggravates me is that it’s always at holidays! I don’t know why – but I think it has to do with the fact he doesn’t see his other kids and that they’re all assholes to him even their mom. He just goes bezerk. We need to get together and chat. I found myself a Chad but I can’t have him! Life sucks doesnt it.

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