There are now rules to our marriage. Whether or not my husband chooses to follow them will result in whether or not we stay married. Our first anniversary will be in six days.
On the day we got married, we hated each other. I wanted a dress, he didn’t care. He got married in sandals, old shorts, and a crappy t-shirt. I insisted on a cute white lace summer dress from JC Penney and some matching shoes. We got in a HUGE fight about it. He called me names. Bitch, cunt, etc. I did not want to get married that day. In fact, it meant so little to me, that not long ago I actually had to trick him into telling me the date that we got married. Yes, you read that right. Apparently he remembered that it was the 22nd because that was his football jersey number in high school. It sounded about right, so I went with it. Either he told me the truth, or he’s letting me believe it.
I think he hates my kids. They have a good-for-absolutely-nothing father, whom my husband knows. My boys’ bio-dad (as I call him) does not pay child support (save for two payments I got last month out of nowhere, but they stopped, so I’m assuming that he quit his job. I got one payment a number of years ago when I found out where he worked. One payment was garnished, then he quit his job.), he does not see them (thank God), and has absolutely nothing to do with them. He is a very bad person.
My ex husband and I had a very bad relationship. I’m not going to go into it now, because it will send me on a 25+ page rant. Let’s just say Rihanna and Chris Brown don’t have shit on what my ex and I had. Think Whitney and Bobby without all the drugs on my end. Kim Kardashian and Damon Thomas. Sean Penn and Madonna. Add to that imprisonment and scary shit and drugs (meth and cocaine mainly) on his end, and pure terror. It was not fun.
Well, I finally divorced his ass in 2010. The divorce took 6 full months of court preceedings, but that was really only because he was in jail for assaulting me and the judge and I were letting him play his game. In the divorce I said he had to become responsible for all the debt he racked up, that he was going to give me sole legal and physical custody with visitation at a state monitored (same-room monitoring) facility at my discretion (aka I can say no and he can’t do shit about it), $500/month in child support (I had to ask for something), zero alimony, and that he had to pay my attorney $3,000. For six months he never responded to any of that – only accused me of being a terrible person. Never once did he mention the kids. Not a single time. Then he told the judge that he was getting out on a certain date, so she scheduled our divorce hearing for the day before. It was wonderful. And uncontested. 🙂
My current husband says awful things to my kids. They are only 7 and almost 6. My 6 year old has some “problems,” and the pediatrician thinks he has Aspergers and learning impediments. Things are hard for him to understand/comprehend. He is a year behind at the most in speech/language, he just doesn’t function like a ‘normal’ or ‘typical’ 5 year old. He calls him “stupid” and “retarded” and things. I can’t stand it. He tells my 7 year old that he is going to ship him away to military school, back to his bio-dad, etc. It really fucks with the kid. And then he wonders why in the world he is a terrible kid at school. /sigh.
Rules that my husband is going to have to abide by if he wants to remain married:
- Marriage Counseling.
- Personal Counseling.
- Stop drinking.
- Do not call me a cunt under any circumstances.
- Do not be hateful to my kids, under any circumstances.
Oh would you look at that, he just texted me: “Bye good, I hate u.”
Looks like we’ll be getting divorced in the morning. *Ugh.*
Well, I’m not sure how I feel about this. A part of me wants him to get his act together. Another part of me wants him as far away from me as possible, because he thinks I cannot do this on my own. Ha! I’ll show him.
I really do love him though. And I know that he will go back to his ex-wife. He says he wants that all the time. I do not know how I feel about all that.