Home » Friends » I only love my husband now.

I only love my husband now.

Update: I have censored the photos he sent me and have decided to include them.

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Here is my latest conversation with ‘him.’ Needless to say, Beyoncé’s “Best Thing I Never Had” has been played about five times already this morning.

 Note: I do not have some mysterious cousin that I would ever hook him up with. I wanted to see how far he’d take this.

 Not sure if I should have, or not… but entertaining nonetheless.

 Here we go…

PART ONE

HIM: Do you have any sane cute friends? I need a date for next Saturday 10:20 AM

Me: (1/2) Ha! No I’m not hooking you up!! Lol but no, all my friends are married or in very serious relationships at the moment. Date for what/where? Depending on 10:30 AM

Me: (2/2) the date my hot cousin might be available. 10:30 AM

HIM: She single? 10:31 AM

Me: Yeah. Works too much to have a steady bf. 10:32 AM

HIM: The more they work the less attention ad time they require I like that 😉 10:32 AM

Me: Lol ok.so what’s the date so I can tell her. 10:33 AM

HIM: Next Saturday the 8th. My work is a donor to the college Christmas play and I have to Go 10:36 AM

Me: Ahh. Ok I’ll see if she’s available. If she is I’ll shoot you her picture and number. Cool? She’s gorgeous. 10:38 AM

HIM: Sounds great 10:38 AM

HIM: And this not a “I want a gf out of this thing” not a “I want to get laid thing”. This is a work function and a nice dinner. I want to be very clear 10:40 AM

Me: Yeah no I know, I wouldn’t do that to my cousin! 10:41 AM

PART TWO

HIM: Why don’t you meet me somewhere and suck my dick 1:17 PM

Me: i dont have a car 1:18 PM

PART THREE

Me: She’s going to a party next Saturday. 7:37 AM

HIM: No worries 7:38 AM

HIM: Alright so do I take ******** or *****? 7:38 AM

Me: i don’t know them so I don’t know 7:46 AM

Me: If I judged by names, I’d say *****. All the Ambers I know are nice. All the ********s I know are kind of insane. 7:46 AM

HIM: Would pictures help? 7:49 AM

HIM: I really don’t want to take either one but I’m Out of time 7:50 AM

Me: send their pics to xxx-xxx-xxxx so that I get them. 7:53 AM

Me: or my email. whichever. 7:54 AM

HIM:

Second girl he sent me.

Second girl he sent me.

First photo he sent me.

First photo he sent me.

HIM: Sorry about topless pic that’s the only pic I Have on my Phone of  ******** 7:56 AM

 HIM: I sent them to your xxx 7:56 AMMe: ok 8:06 AM

Me: The first girl. 8:11 AM

HIM: The one with bra on? 8:11 AM

Me: Yeah. The othee girl looks like a hooker w her hair so blonde. 8:12 AM

HIM: Haha!! I’ll tell her you said that 8:13 AM

Me: It’s true. She’s too tan to have hair that blonde. 8:14 AM

Me: She’s got a prettier face though. But I think you should take the one with the bra on. 8:15 AM

PART FOUR

Cue Beyoncé’s “The Best Thing I Never Had.”

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